I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
