Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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