Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
