There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
