Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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