please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
