Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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