Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
