There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
