is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
