Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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