benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
