dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I AM VODKA MAN
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
