Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Your dad touched me again.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
