Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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