Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
