the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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