How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize