Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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