After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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