Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I could fuck to npr.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
