Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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