Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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