Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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