You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
