addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
