She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
