I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
