why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
