Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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