about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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