New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize