Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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