So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
