can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
