after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
