"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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