I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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