I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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