we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
