apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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