I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
