Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
