they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
