on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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