Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
