2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize