The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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