Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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