i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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