Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was like eating out sand paper
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
