he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
