Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to calm my uterus...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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