i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
