Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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