Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
