so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
