I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
